He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
