I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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