Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
