Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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