yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
