You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
