Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
