I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
