Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
