All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
