were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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