grandma shit on top of the toilet
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
