Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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