Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
