Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Found the puke drawer
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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