I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize