she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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