I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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