We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You did what with his pubic hair?
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