Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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