I want to walk on stilts...naked
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
