If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
