are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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