420 ftw
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
