I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
