Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
