he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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