Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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