Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
