if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
