I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize