so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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