In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
