On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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