Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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