i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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