it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
