I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
