eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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