tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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