so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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