It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He passed out mid-signature
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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