What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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