So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
