Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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