There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
