Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
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