big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
