Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize