It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
