Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
