I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize