just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
