well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
cat food counts as protein by the way
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize