Quick, to the slutcave!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
nutella sex= disaster
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Semen is not good for contacts.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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