Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
