When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
it's like iHOP with fire
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
