his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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