he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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