I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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