Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
