I can't watch pbs sober anymore
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
